Random Thoughts and Musings by moi

Musings by a feisty, opinionated Deaf gal who wants nothing but the best for her community and her people

mardi 30 janvier 2007

Man, are we deafies flexible or what?

It struck me today how fantastically well we deafies are able to adapt to situations that limit our communication access. I went to a water aerobics class, and this time was harder than usual thanks to an instructor who shot out instructions like a New Yorker on speed. I've done water aerobics off and on for years, thanks to a family that swims almost constantly and a water aerobics class I took at Gallaudet, so I'm comfortable with the moves and a lot of other aspects. I'm also an adept lipreader, which I confess helps quite a bit, much as I hate to admit it. But the class today tested my limits. Her rapid-fire instructions and frequent turning her head away made it so I actually had to work to follow instructions (which is not normally the case for me). I managed okay, but it was work that I wasn't used to doing. And I realized today how much I use techniques other than lipreading to follow what the instructor is doing. I position my body so I'm always facing the instructor, no matter what, even if it puts me out of alignment with others. I also watch to see what others are doing if I'm a bit lost or if the instructor has us jump around in circles or something like that where I can't see her as clearly. I can't recollect what else I do right now, but wow, I never really articulated to myself how many little ways I adapt to situations that don't provide printed English or ASL signs. A hearing person was with me and tried to interpret several times, but I pointedly looked away, focusing on the instructor - and I was fine. It was very sweet of her, and she doesn't usually do this. That struck me - gosh, I bet hearing people have NO idea how well we adapt. It doesn't matter how well we speak, lipread, or how well we *don't*, we still can function and communicate a lot better than many people think we can. It reminds me of the first time I went to Europe. I was with a hearing person, and I had an easier time communicating with the locals, thanks to gesturing and using different forms of communication. If she didn't speak the language, she was unable to find other ways to communicate. So, deafies out there, don't ever put yourselves down because of communication ("I can't speak," "I can't hear," etc.) - you are more flexible and adaptable than many hearing people!

jeudi 25 janvier 2007

Captioning all v-logs... Really?

Jamie Berke has written twice now in the past few days to urge captioning of all video blogs, joining the small but growing chorus of calls for accessibility. Berke makes a number of good points, many of which I agree with. One I especially agree with is the need to be accessible to every segment of our community, which is crucial for our unification. After all, unity cannot happen without an understanding of where we are all coming from. I will not attempt to rebut any of her points, because they are valid and I logically agree with them.

BUT there's a double standard at work in the calls for captioning of video blogs. Consider: Have we bloggers ever been asked to provide ASL translation of our writing? I'm not aware of any requests, except for a general cry for more video entries. If there are any, they are few in number. But by not giving deaf people who do not have good English language skills access, we are denying access to a large segment of the community. Why the disparity in the calls for accessibility? The minority culture/language is always the one most asked to adapt, not the majority, and this is glaring evidence of that.

Food for thought, n'est-ce pas?

mardi 9 janvier 2007

Concrete Reasons Against Anonymous Attacks

As I sleepily and groggily read Chris Leon's latest entry, I read this amazing comment about why not-so-positive comments written under the guise of anonymity destroys unity. We all know why, but it was spelled out so clearly that I just had to highlight it here. This response contained salient issues and points that need to be considered, touching upon so many issues, including our children, dispelling a myth about hearing culture, and a lot more. Whether or not readers agree with his assessment of Chris Leon's and Ricky Taylor's blogs should not be the issue - what he is saying as a whole is so much more than that, exploring cultural norms (both hearing and deaf), thoughts about the next generation of deaf people, and more.

Thank you, DE, for posting this thoughtful treatise that encourages honesty and constructive criticism when appropriate, but makes it starkly clear why personal attacks are so destructive.

Found at: http://chrisleon.wordpress.com/2007/01/08/ridor-threatens-to-sue/
14. DE | January 9th, 2007 at 6:04 am

Aidan- as always, your comments are soothing and that “let’s get along” tone of yours is infectious. Keep being yourself, Aidan. I admire you.

Chris’ post is very reasonable. Yes, he is correct that responsibility begins with the individual. However, negative comments could (and has) cloud(ed) the blogger’s agenda, stance, image, or whatever. I’ve seen people complain that “Chris said this” or “Ridor said that” only to find that it was an anonymous commenter who made that remark, not the bloggers themselves. Sometimes people would even claim that Chris or Ridor themselves are overwhelmingly negative, hateful, and crossing the line. I often have to return to their ORIGINAL entries, and I see none of those “negative, hateful, and crossing-the-line” energy in the bloggers’ writings.

Not only that, anonymous comments that are personal, cross the line, and simply hateful gets in the way of Deaf unity. Why anonymous comments fundamentally violate and prevent our Deaf culture from thriving–

1) Deaf culture is heavy on social context. We collectively discuss issues, and like to know who said what. Anonymous comments warps that. Majority culture (i.e. hearing capitalist societies) that emphasizes individualism might have no problem with anonymous comments- they don’t live with those people. Deaf people, on the other hand, do have suspicions who made that negative comment anonymously, and have to struggle with that. That’s why Deaf people, in person, continue to complain that “anonymous comments” are not acceptable in our culture.

2) English. While English AND ASL (or any country’s Sign Language) are our languages, discourse is more honest face-to-face. However, if one wants to post a critical comment in English, use your real name. That way, the criticized/accused has a chance to follow up with that person, and resolve issues. Simple. I’ve seen one situation where one Deaf blasted another Deaf, but used her real name. The accused offered to talk with the accuser over videophone. They did, and now they are working together beautifully on Deaf-related issues. Bottom line, discourse is not healthy if negative and personal anonymous comments are posted online. Discourse is much better when people face each other, and honestly share their thoughts, feelings, and hopes.

Even hearing non-profit organizations ban e-mail discussions, because “discourse is better in person”. Not all hearing people enjoy discussing online- many do prefer to talk in person, so they can catch the tone, implications, gestures, etc. We shouldn’t assume that online discussions are acceptable for hearing people- therefore they should also be acceptable in our culture.

3) Children do read those comments. Anonymous comments discourage our next generation of leaders from rising up and taking the reins. They’d see what commenters say about their parents, friends, and peers and probably will decide “It ain’t worth it. Deaf people are indeed vicious! Why should I join a non-profit organization, volunteer at Deaf events, plan a gathering, etc.?” Minority cultures place a high value on “futurography”- our children’s futures.

Ultimately, what is our goal? Bloggers may claim that they want the truth to come out, hold people accountable, etc. Sure. I believe that bloggers like Joey, Chris, Ridor, Mishakenza, Shane, Mike, Jared, etc. are for real and doing us a great service. But what are the personal/vindictive anonymous commenters’ agenda? Do these help elevate our discourse, support our leaders (of course, I don’t mean be nice to our leaders all the time! If they warrant feedback, by all means! Blunt criticism with a name attached, fine!), and improve our community? If they have a personal beef with people, they can simply contact that person and work things out then get back to the business of improving Deaf people’s lives. We have a lot of work to do.

I want to believe that deep down inside, all Deaf people- even those anonymous commenters, really want the best for our community. I hope so.

vendredi 5 janvier 2007

There but for the grace of God go I

Sarah's story really hit home for me. I wept. Her three entries thus far are a very moving account of a deaf woman who grew up alone, never meeting another deaf person, and has experienced a series of epiphanies after reading Gina Oliva's book, Alone in the Mainstream. Her second entry describes her very real pain in heart-rending words. Her third entry is positively upbeat and describes how she and her husband are processing this together and they both sound quite willing and happy to explore this new aspect of their lives.

This is just the latest wave to hit me on so many levels. I've been following Zoée Nuage's accounts of how she grew up mostly isolated from other deaf people, using a form of manually coded English to communicate, and how she is growing more and more interested in learning ASL and in joining the deaf community. Brown Eyed Girl, whomever she may be, is also a "solitaire," as Oliva puts it. She's been rebuffed by deaf people in the past and is wary, but interested in joining the community. Karen, a deaf mom from the Chicago area and Diane Gutierrez also talk from time to time about how growing up mainstreamed and joining the community as an adult have shaped their experiences and perspectives.

Gina Oliva's book set off a spate of interesting reviews and commentaries, not only from Sarah, but from Karen and Brown Eyed Girl in two separate entries as well.

They all have made me reflect on something I've known for a long time, yet never really understood. All of these people are literate, thoughtful, and intelligent. They are clearly able to make connections with others, no matter what their mode of communication. As far as I'm concerned, they are all part of this community. They are all part of us. I'm looking forward to meeting each one of them in person, as tends to happen in this small community of ours. Sarah, if you're reading, may I offer a huge, warm welcome to our community as you make your way through this journey.

What shook me to the core is simply the realization of how lucky I have been. I, too, have a hearing mom whose goals for me included the best possible education and for me to be highly literate. In fact, when she started me at preschool, she told the teacher that she expected me to be on grade level and stuck to her guns when the teacher expressed doubts. She had never met a deaf person nor thought much about what deaf is before she had me. She suspected I might not have normal hearing when I was only six months old. She had me tested at six months, two days old. What's unusual about Mom, though, is that her first thought when she heard the diagnosis was not sadness about not being able to hear music or the birds, but concern about how I would acquire language. She tried speaking with me but making sure I could see her face and lips at all times, but she knew in her gut this was not the way to go. She took sign language classes and, being a teacher and coming from the well-educated family she does, talked to me constantly (like all the parents in my family do), telling me things and explaining things. By the time I was 3, she felt I was progressing normally and just kept doing what good parents do for their children. She continued to encourage and expect speech development, but if that didn't work at any given time, she reverted to signs - something which is still true to this day.

What made Mom really unique is that she instantly understood that I had to be around other deaf people. She made sure I was around other deaf chldren at least part of the time, no matter what, even though I did not go to the state school until junior high. In her words, "To me, it was always about communication. That's the only thing that really made sense to me - that you be around people you could communicate with {easily and without barriers}." That's one thing that made my blood run cold while reading Sarah's story and recent blog reviews of Oliva's book. I've never had the experience of thinking I'm all alone in life and that I'm different from everyone else. I've had similar experiences to theirs while being mainstreamed and feeling alone and like I stuck out like a sore thumb in that setting, but I expected and knew that that did not have to be the way it was all the time.

When this realization hit me, I cried. I wept in gratitude for my wonderful mom, I wept in sadness that Sarah and others have had to feel so alone for so long, and I wept in anger at the fact that this story of aloneness is not going away - in fact, it's getting worse every year. More and more deaf children are literally all alone in the world. In the old days, most deaf children had each other, whether they were in oral programs or in manual programs, but that's less and less true these days. More and more deaf children and people are going to go through a chunk of their lives feeling different, isolated, and alone. That's cruel and unnecessary. It saddens and infuriates me, and leaves me wishing I knew what to do about it.

Truly, there but for the grace of God (and Mom) go I.

I'm grateful that people are able to find us and make their way to us, while retaining the good parts about how they were raised and how they have lived their lives up until their epiphany. DeafBlogLand appears to be helping that along, as evidenced by Zoée, Sarah, and BrownEyedGirl. It is up to all of us, the Teeming Millions, to make sure we keep the welcome mat out, fresh and inviting, for these three and for all the others who have not yet found us or for those who have not blogged publicly yet. In the meantime, BrownEyedGirl, Zoée, and Sarah, welcome! Everyone else who is in a similar position to theirs, welcome! We're here, ready to embrace you and we're willing to accept your process, regardless of what form it takes and the length of time it takes. Welcome to our community!

jeudi 4 janvier 2007

Little Pitchers...

I've been following all the comments and posts about the Bay Area gala event with great interest. The person who can be credited (or blamed, depending on your perspective) is Chris Leon with a roar posted the day of the gala, several hours before it began. While I, naturally, am stunned at the viciousness of some of the attacks and have thoughts (largely echoed by Saunière) about the need to explore issues with respect and dignity, I wanted to highlight one aspect of all this that has yet to be addressed.

Soneone posted, saying he/she is a CSD Fremont student and said something to the effect of "We young 'uns do read this stuff, y'know..."

That embarrassed me. It really embarrassed me. It made me ask myself this:

What kind of role models are we?

As someone who works with school-age students, I instantly wondered if any of my current and former students are reading this and/or penning comments behind some of these pseudonyms. If they are, they are witnessing firsthand that all my exhortations about the need to be respectful while stating one's perspective and disagreeing with someone else are unnecessary and that adults do not do this. They are learning that it is OK to attack. It is OK to be cruel and insult others. After all, this is what adults do.

My usual style thus far while blogging has been to present ideas and thoughts for discussion, but I must step out of that mold for a minute to ask this:

If you had ANY part in attacking the Bay Area or individuals in the Bay Area, what have you taught the next generation of deaf people? Think long and hard about this.

We, no matter whether it's in person, online using our real names, or online using pseudonyms, all have a responsibility toward future generations of deaf people. We need to be showing them how adults can have a reasoned dialogue and disagree with civility. Chris Leon's post and Deaf Tea Time's first post on the topic, as well as most of the comments there, are not appropriate models, in my opinion. Deaf Tea Time redeemed herself somewhat with her public apology, which was a wonderful example to set for future generations.

I'll get off the soapbox now, but every single one of you (myself included) need to be mindful of the example we set for deaf people in high school, college, and younger. *click* Preach mode off now.

mardi 2 janvier 2007

A Kinder, Gentler 2007

I just had the most interesting experience. When I only had a private blog with a teeny, tiny readership consisting of close friends and family, I wrote a review of a collection of deaf cinema that was shown all at once one night. The first film was Jennifer Visco dancing and signing an apparently original song, talking about how we are all deaf "same-you-me," no matter where we're from, our schooling, et cetera. My words were rather unkind. In my defense, I never dreamed she'd see what I wrote, since my readership was so limited.

When I started this more public blog, I went through my entries to see which ones I could copy and post here too. Figuring deaf cinema had mass appeal, I copied that entry in its entirety here, completely forgetting what I'd said about Visco's performance.

Well.

She read it.

She commented.

I replied, offering a white flag and a sort of apology. From her response, she doesn't seem too offended, thankfully. I stand by my original review, though perhaps I could have worded it more gently. *rueful smile*

I've been so frustrated by the recent attacks on the Bay Area, because while some criticism seems to be valid, a lot of it is just baseless attacks on a whole community or on specific individuals. I try to be a good person and go about my business without offending or hurting people with careless, thoughtless comments and actions. But I'm not perfect. And this was a wonderful reminder.

2007 is a fresh start for all of us operating on the Western calendar, and I'd like to take this opportunity to call for a kinder, gentler 2007. Let's conduct our discussions with civility, openness, kindness, and respect. If we have not-so-nice opinions, let's watch how we word them.

Here's to a kinder, gentler 2007 and beyond.