Should we or shouldn't we?

I know I've been AWOL for a long time and I apologize to any of my readers who have been wondering where I went. Nowhere. I'm still here.

I've been mulling something over for the past week - should deaf women keep their maiden names or not in order to show family affiliation? I met two women this week, one of which kept her maiden name. Soon after we met, I was able to ask if she was any relation to this guy I knew at Gallaudet, and yes, he is her brother. If she'd changed her last name when she got married, I would never have made that connection. On the other hand, the other woman I met changed her name when she got married. Because of that, I was able to connect her with a Gally classmate of mine. Without her married name, I wouldn't have known to connect the two.

That made me think. I've pretty much probably decided to keep my name if I get married. (don't you love how decisive I am? *grin*) My name is a huge part of my identity. When people first meet me, they sometimes say yes, they recognize my name because of some type of prior connection or they have heard of me from some of my activities. If I change my name, all of that is gone. On the other hand, if I changed it, I would make new connections and people would still make connections in a different way. Which way would make me lose more connections or gain me more connections? Natch, it'll depend on my Mr. Omigawd and what connections he'd bring to the union.

I'm probably keeping my name for a whole host of reasons, including the whole subjugation to men thing and a desire to maintain my identity, but for us deaf women, it's not just the usual issues - connections and community relationships also come into play in this decision.

I'd love to know your thoughts, what decisions you've made, and how they've influenced your connections and relationships!