Trials of being a passionate person

What does it mean to live by your principles? Heartache and grief, I’ll tell ya. Seriously.
Thanks to my principles, I’m in a fetal position more often than I care to be in.
Thanks to my principles, I’m upset more often than I care to be feeling.
Thanks to my principles, I’m aging myself more than I care to be due to stress.
Thanks to my principles, I’m more stressed than I care to be feeling.
Thanks to my principles, I’m sticking my neck out more than I care to be doing.
Thanks to my principles, I’m involved in more imbroglios than I care to be involved in.

I’m usually OK with all of the above, but not at the moment. Most of the time, I shrug and figure that that’s a small price to pay for being true to my principles. But at times like this, I wonder why the hell I’m putting myself through all this crap.

All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.

Right now, I’m waaaaay up in the boughs for several reasons, and they all have to do with principles. Principles shminriples.

One situation: I fought, along with a small group, for a positive outcome, based on a set of principles about supporting our community, et cetera. We stuck our necks out and fought, because we care. We succeeded. Now it’s a few short years later, and we are supposedly in a far better position than we were in then. However, the Fates (with a heaping dose of help from some people!) have conspired to put us in exactly the same position we were in then. I feel like I’m up against a monolith, and that all we did was to delay the inevitable. What was the point after all?

All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.

The tangled situations that helped propel me up even higher into the boughs recently are connected with many principles that I hold dear, including some I didn’t realize *needed* to be articulated. Among the questions the situations engender in me are: What does it mean to be a principled leader? Where do we draw the line? When is it OK to figuratively go to bed with someone who has, and continues to, betray the community? When is it OK to bitch-slap a subordinate who has done so much for the community? How much responsibility do I bear for what has transpired? Who can we trust to stay true to their principles? What does it mean to be responsible to the community? When is it ok to ignore a malevolent force and to deny the truth? How far should collectivism go? At what price loyalty? When do I need to cut my ties and let go, no matter how much it hurts? In the recent situations, a small group is pitted against this leviathan, and I feel powerless. All I have are my principles and dignity. But are they enough?

All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.

I look at people who don’t care and, while I usually deplore that, right now I am filled with envy. One person I know didn’t care about the 2006 protest when so many of us were pouring our hearts and souls into this. He focuses on his small corner of the world, chooses a focus, and lives his life. He certainly seems so much more at peace than I am. I look at people who have chosen to stick their heads in the sand, and I envy them. They’re able to partake in opportunities that I’m denied because of my principles. They’re able to flatter themselves that they’re needed and contributing in a meaningful way. And I’m left with a small group of people and my principles. The green-eyed monster’s perched on the shoulder of my soul right now.

All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.

I just want to curl up under the blankets, bawl my eyes out, and rail at the injustice of it all. I want to hurl invectives at their heads and wash my hands of everything. I’ve HAD IT.

All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.

Yet…

That would be denying a very integral part of my whole being. So much of who I am is based on my principles. My choice of career and how I’ve conducted myself as a professional is wholly based on my belief that Deaf children deserve a Deaf-centered, positively affirming, language-rich, and empowering learning environment. My community involvement and the causes I’ve been involved in are all based on a set of principles that includes collectivism, integrity, the betterment of Deaf children and people, and a deep and abiding faith in people, just to name a few. I cannot deny these values that I hold dear.

All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.

I’m left feeling adrift and unsure how to proceed, but I know this: I will not betray my principles. For without my principles, what do I have left?

All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.

*raising a glass* To integrity.

DeafRead BROKEN. Do-do?

What do we do about DeafRead? A simple blog aggregator has become the topic of so much controversy, people cannot even agree on whether or not DeafRead is broken. Those who agree that it’s broken can say what’s wrong, but they can’t agree on how to fix it. At the crux of the issue is: what exactly is DeafRead supposed to be?

I’m a mere sporadic blogger, but I’ve been part of DeafRead, both as a blogger and as a reader from the very beginning. That, I believe, entitles me to have an opinion. *smile* And my take on the whole thing is that DeafRead is badly broken and will need to be fixed quickly in order to be saved. The two main breakages are in its values and in the Extras voting procedure, in my view.

The core of the situation is whether or not DeafRead should have an abiding set of guiding principles or not, and if so, what they should be. I want to doff my cap to Tayler Mayer and Jared Evans. I met them both only recently, and Jared, quite briefly, but I have so much respect for them. It’s become very clear to me, via my time with Tayler in the Real World, by reading what Jared has to say in DeafBlogLand, and by what I've "heard" about them both, that both men are very community-oriented and have a clear Deaf center. They also see the value of being open to everyone. So do I. We’re all on the same page in this respect. However, where I differ with how DeafRead has been operated over the past few months is in how posts have been selected for the main page. Do-do? That's the question.

There are a few things that need to be clarified before I humbly offer my solution.

1. Deaf people, as a group, do not reject people. Every group has its share of rotten apples who cling tightly to an arbitrary set of pre-conceived notions about "membership" in the group, and the Deaf community is no exception. I could tell a story about how someone whom I made a strong connection with snubbed me after she found out I didn’t come from a Deaf family. But we as a community abhor this and gladly open our arms to anyone who shows a genuine interest, healthy curiosity, and respect. Case in point: one of my closest friends learned how to sign at the New Signer’s Program at Gallaudet, and he still does not sign like a native ASL user, but he is more than welcome in the community. His list of contacts reads partly like a list of Who’s Who in the community and ranges from people who grew up oral, like himself, to people who come from a Deaf family, graduated from a Deaf school, and from Gallaudet University. Another friend of mine grew up oral, graduated from a hearing college, and did not become part of the community until she was a young adult. She now has friends from all points on the continuum. I’m getting to know this guy that’s new to the area who grew up oral and got a cochlear implant as an adult. He’s been accepted and is very much part of the community too. I, and probably many of you reading this, could come up with scads more examples of how the community welcomes people. Many bloggers in DeafBlogLand are saying how welcome they feel, even though they’re late-deafened, oral with cochlear implants, and so forth. We, the Deaf community, do NOT reject people, and those few that do should be bitch-slapped and set straight. *grin* That’s just not how we operate. And that’s not how DeafRead should operate either.

2. Being Deaf-centered does NOT mean that we are not accepting of diverse perspectives or of people from diverse backgrounds. Being Deaf-centered simply means that one considers oneself to be from the Deaf community, uses and cherishes a natural signed language at times, socializes with Deaf people at least part of the time, and respects Deaf cultural norms and values. There are many Deaf-centered people who use their voices, use technology to hear, socialize with hearing people, work with hearing people, and move between both cultures. A Deaf-centered person is usually not operating in isolation and clinging to only the Deaf community.

Having a strong Deaf center is never about being exclusive nor being isolationist. It is simply about having a clear set of values and principles, and everyone who respects those is welcome.

3. In my perspective, DeafRead is our home on the Internet. My spies (*grin*) at the DeafRead conference shared that the sentiment that we’ve lost our home and that DeafRead has to take a stand dominated the soapbox discussions, though those sentiments were eloquently expressed in many different ways. It is home for those of us who are Deaf-centered.

As in our homes in the real world, we are selective about whom we allow in our homes and even more selective about whom gets to see the entire house. Only people that we feel close to and comfortable with usually get to see our back rooms, the upstairs, our bedrooms, and so on. Friends and acquaintances can get as far as our porches, our living rooms, our kitchens, and maybe more, depending on the situation and on our level of openness. We don’t allow people in our homes who do the following: treat us or our people with disrespect, diss our values, dishonor us in any way, insult us, et cetera. We definitely allow people who are different from us and who have different opinions from us, as long as they’re friendly and respectful. The DeafRead main page, to me, is analogous to the back rooms, while the Extra page is for everybody and anybody.

Now, what do I think is broken with DeafRead? I know that no solution will please everyone, and I don’t expect that mine will, either. But here we go.

1. I’ll start with the easiest – the Extra section. DeafRead has published guidelines for what is to be published on the front page. Anything else that doesn’t follow these guidelines goes to Extra. The team added the ability to vote on what goes on the front page, and anything that gets 5 or more votes gets moved to the front page. There have been many, many posts moved to the front page in the past month or two. When that happens, that’s a clear indication that the system’s broken. Well, I think that voting needs to be removed or revised. Some people have complained that their posts, which *clearly* did not follow the guidelines, should be on the front page, and many posts that clearly did not follow the guidelines were voted on and moved to the front page in violation of the guidelines. There is apparently a lack of understanding among some visitors that just because a post is interesting or just because one agrees with it does not mean that you should vote to move it to the main page.

I suggest either removing the voting privilege or not allowing voting without an explanation as to why the particular post fits the DeafRead guidelines, with clear examples.

2. DeafRead needs to go back to having a Deaf center. The very first guideline is entitled: Deaf Related Posts. The first sentence for that guideline reads: "The entry must pertain to the deaf community and culture." Let’s follow that guideline and clarify it to add language about respecting Deaf cultural norms, natural signed languages, and so on. DeafRead needs to take a stand or watch this online community fall.

This is the best solution, in my opinion, because it leaves room at the table for everyone. The “success stories” that Cochlear Implant Online churns out would go to Extra and remain available for viewing rather than being rejected. All non Deaf-centered posts would go to Extra, easily available for everyone and anyone to peruse. This would also include anything a Deaf-centered blogger writes about that is not about the Deaf community and/or culture. For example, if I were to write an opinion piece on the wide-open presidential election and the candidate I support, it’d go straight to Extra. Or if I were to write about how fantastically easy it is to buy a car online, zoom to Extra. That way no bloggers are told, “Sorry. You don’t belong here.” Everyone gets to be on DeafRead. Everyone gets to bring their perspective to the table. But DeafRead gets back to its roots and to what made it great in the first place.

This is also the simplest solution – tweak guidelines, fix the flaws with the voting system, clarify the purpose for the main page via a vlog/blog entry, and what will probably be the hardest part – BEING CONSISTENT with what goes on the front page.

Again, I’m just a humble long-time member of this online community who wants everyone to be able to participate, while maintaining a clear Deaf center harmonious with our collectivist way of life, offering a possible solution after a great deal of thought.

Best of luck, Tayler and Jared. *hug* to you both.