DeafSide: Home?

The message at the DeafRead conference last winter, according to people who were there, was loud and clear - DeafRead was our home and now we don't have a safe harbor. Since then, DeafRead Custom has arrived. I see pros and cons to this approach, but I confess to having implemented it happily. And now we get DeafSide? Woo-hoo!!

DeafRead Custom is an interesting creature. It's very difficult to hide many blogs because you have to click on one blog at a time and wait for the page to reload after each blog. I suspect it was implemented this way on purpose in order to force us to be choosy about which blogs to hide. Once I discovered that, I had to pause and come up with a set of criteria to help guide my clicking and waiting. They can all be boiled down into two sentences:

If the blogger is irresponsible about airing his/her opinions and routinely accuses others of being divisive, militant, exclusive, etc, I'm not interested. If the blogger repeatedly forces Deaf-centered people to have to defend our existence as a valid, viable one, I'm not interested. *click*

I'm only interested in reading/viewing entries from responsible bloggers, even if I don't agree with them. The blogs that I have hidden run the gamut from ASL users to non-signers, and they are hidden only because they fit the criteria above. But hiding only 15 blogs has made DeafRead a much more pleasant experience for me. Kudos to Tayler and Jared for coming up with this solution!

I don't understand what the hue and cry is about DeafSide myself. The idea is freakin' BRILLIANT! According to Tayler and Jared,

We understand the need for a safe harbor for the cultural and linguistic minority. DeafSide will not be a place for vblogs with a lukewarm reception to ASL. The vbloggers will unabashedly support ASL and other signing languages and have a strong Deaf cultural center. DeafSide will provide a protected area to help all signing languages thrive and encourage positive discussions among the signing Deaf.

And the problem with that is what, exactly? Women have forums where they feel safe and can celebrate womanhood. Different ethnic groups have forums where they feel safe and can celebrate their experiences. CI parents have forums where they feel safe and can celebrate their stories. And it goes on. We can't have ours? If that's the case, something's wrong with the picture here.

And the cries of "Exclusion!" are unfounded. The only "not" anywhere in their announcement says that "DeafSide will not be a place for vblogs with a lukewarm reception to ASL." Otherwise everything is described in language that describes what DeafSide will be. There's no mention about having to have certain backgrounds, certain hearing levels, certain levels of signing skill or *anything* like that. The only requirement is to "unabashedly support ASL and other signing languages and have a strong Deaf cultural center." And that's bad how, exactly? I fail to understand the fear here.

EVERY single time we Deaf-centered people create a safe harbor, it's invaded by people who would wipe us out with their attempts at "normalization." Not only that, some of our own people jump on the bandwagon and point fingers at us, accusing us of every crime under the sun... when all we want is a safe place.

DeafSide can only help DeafRead, as I see it. Many people have lost a lot of interest in DeafRead because it's not a safe place anymore. Deaf-centered people, who came to DeafRead to celebrate signed languages and our uniquely Deaf way of life, have been reduced to defending our very existence. That's one of the reasons I haven't been blogging these days. No matter how busy I was, I used to be able to find time to blog every once in a while. But I personally don't feel safe anymore. I don't mind having discussions with people in a give-and-take fashion, where everyone *listens* to each other. People who know me know that I can often be found sitting down with someone and talking to them, trying to raise them to a higher plane and to make them better community members (not by brainwashing, thankyouverymuch. I want people to think for themselves!). So that's not the issue. The issue is that since last summer, when I blog, I've had to defend my existence against people who believe that I need to be fixed. That's scary and nauseating all at once. And I'm not alone. Based on discussions in the Real World, MANY bloggers and commenters feel the same way.

Now with DeafSide, that safe harbor will be back! I believe that will encourage many people to return to blogging/vlogging/commenting and it'll bring more people into the fold. The brilliance of the plan is that DeafSide will be directly channeled into DeafRead. This will bring back the Deaf-centered voice that's been slowly disappearing from DeafRead. This will ensure that the goal of DeafRead remains - a place to bring all perspectives into one central site.

And ANYONE is welcome to join DeafSide, no matter what their background is, their signing skill is, or anything like that, as long as they show respect for the Deaf way of life.

I'm throwing my full support behind DeafSide (even tho' I think the name should be DeafCenter, DeafHub, or something like that). Thank you so much, Tayler and Jared, for crafting such an amazing solution to this dilemma!

Don't Give Up!

I've had a really, really rough 6 weeks, and there have been times when I've been ready to completely throw in the towel and just do nothing but my job, my family and friends, and my personal interests. No more community involvement. No more caring. I've had to deal with people who do not value the Deaf community, who are willing to tear down leaders to further their own selfish agendas, and with unprincipled leaders. It. Has. Been. Rough. I've gained some equilbrium back over the past two weeks, though. What has helped me get through the crap is having a base, consisting of many different people from all walks of life, who believe the same as I do - in being the best person I can be, in putting the welfare of the community first before myself, and doing whatever I can to support our leaders and our community. I was also touched by the comments left in my "Trials" post by people I have never met. Thank you! A huge shout-out to my base, all of you! *hug*

If we could all operate from a respectful Deaf-centered perspective, supporting the community and the larger world out there, doing everything we can not to damage any living thing, and showing kindness and caring toward everyone else, the world would be an amazing place. But every single one of us, as individuals, can make a difference.

I got the story below via an e-mail from a friend, and it is shown here exactly as it was in the e-mail. Just one person believing in another makes all the difference. Every time I read it, I sniffle. Thank you to whomever originated this e-mail and to all who sent it on. I hope you enjoy it, and do what you can to make a positive difference in the Deaf community and in the world!

Freedom and Jeff

Freedom and I have been together 10 years this summer. She came in as a baby in 1998 with two broken wings. Her left wing doesn't open all the way even after surgery, it was broken in 4 places. She's my baby.

Jeff

When Freedom came in to Sarvey Wildlife Center in Everett, Washington she could not stand.The Center is run by volunteers who like animals.

Both wings on the eagle were broken: her left wing in 4 places. She was emaciated and covered in lice. We made the decision to give her a chance at life, so I took her to the veternatians office.From then on, I was always around her. We placed her in a huge dog carrier with the top off that was loaded up with shredded newspaper for her to lay in.

I used to sit and talk to her, urging her to live, to fight; and she would lay there looking at me with those big brown eyes. We had to tube feed her for weeks.

This went on for 4-6 weeks, but she still couldn't stand. It got to the point where the decision was made to euthanize her if she couldnt stand by herself in a week.

You know you don't want to cross that line between torture and rehab, and it looked like death was winning. She was going to be put down that Friday, and I was supposed to come in on that Thursday afternoon. I didnt want to go to the Center that day, because I couldnt bear the thought of her being euthanized; but I went anyway, and when I walked in everyone was grinning from ear to ear. I went immediately back to her dog cage; and there she was, standing on her own, a big beautiful eagle.

She was ready to live. I was just about in tears by then. That was a very good day.We knew she could never fly, so the director asked me to glove train her. I got her used to the glove,and then to jesses,(these are thin leather strips) and we started doing education programs for schools in Western Washington. We wound up in the newspapers, radio(believe it or not) and Miracle Pets did a TV show about us.

In the spring of 2000, I was diagnosed with non-hodgkins lymphoma. I had stage 3, which is not good (one major organ plus everywhere), so I wound up doing 8 months of chemo. Lost the hair -the whole bit. I missed a lot of work. When I felt good enough, I would go to Sarvey and take Freedom out for walks. Freedom would also come to me in my dreams and help me fight the cancer. I swear this happened time and time again.

Fast forward to November 2000, the day after Thanksgiving, I went in for my last checkup. I was told that if the cancer was not all gone after 8 rounds of chemo, then my last option was a stem cell transplant. They did the tests; and I hwas to come back Monday for the results. I went in Monday, and I was told that all the cancer was gone. Yahoo!

The first thing I did was get up to Sarvey and take the "big girl" out for a walk. It was misty and cold. I went to her flight and jessed her up, and we went out front to the top of the hill. I hadnt said a word to Freedom, but somehow she knew. She looked at me and wrapped both her wings around me to where I could feel them pressing in on my back (I was engulfed in eagle wings), She touched my nose with her beak and stared into my eyes, and we just stood there like that for I dont know how long. That was a magic moment. We have been soul mates ever since she came in. This is a very special bird.

On a side note: I have had people who were sick come up to us when we are out, and Freedom has some kind of hold on them. I once had a guy who was terminal come up to us and I let him hold her. His knees just about buckled and he swore he could feel her power coarse through his body. I have so many stories like that.

I never forget the honor I have of being so close to such a magnificent spirit as Freedom's.

Hope you enjoy this.

Jeff

PS - I found the website, and a different version of the story above on the site, entitled "The Circle of Healing."

Michael Chorost on the rally

I realize Amy Cohen Efron already submitted this link, but it doesn't
work. Here it is again:

http://www.michaelchorost.com/blog/2008/03/26/we-all-sleep-in-silence/
I'm heartened to read about how peaceful the DBC California rally was
and about how people are working to build bridges. This is the answer.
It doesn't mean giving up our principles nor our Deaf center, but
reaching out and showing the world how accepting and respectful we
*really* are is going to make all the difference in the world.

UPDATE 4.4.08 20h22: Abbie left a comment to let me know that she had blogged about this and that she wants unity too. Thank you so much, Abbie!